Organisational Restructuring and a Shift in Corporate Culture — Growing Anxiety and Frustration
When I made the decision to take sick leave, I was working in the Japanese subsidiary of a European chemical company, where my role was in marketing.
To go back a few years before I took sick leave, the company underwent a global restructuring, and the leadership team in Japan was also replaced. From that point onwards, the atmosphere within the company began to shift, little by little
In the course of my daily work, I began to feel that consideration for customers and partner companies was no longer emphasised as strongly as it once had been, while internal manoeuvring and coordination increasingly took centre stage. That said, such shifts in corporate culture are not uncommon in the business world.
Many of my colleagues — myself included — felt a strong sense of ownership towards both the business and our customers. Perhaps that was precisely why we experienced growing anxiety, and at times frustration, as the company continued to change.
During the restructuring, Nobuhiko (pseudonym) was promoted to head of the Japanese organisation. Shortly afterwards, Mari (pseudonym) was hired as his deputy, and from that point on, she became my direct manager.
A New Manager — Between the Wish to Trust and a Growing Sense of Unease
On her first day, Mari addressed the employees.
“I’ve been told that I am to build the organisation going forward. I will do my utmost to contribute from my first day.”
On the surface, it was an entirely ordinary introduction. Even so, something about it gave me slight pause. Her straightforward declaration of intent carried a faint sense of tension, and in her expression and tone I sensed something subtly different from the humility and caution I had instinctively expected.
In the days that followed, there were several moments when small details in her words and actions left me quietly unsettled. Still, I told myself that I was probably reading too much into it.
At the time, I wanted to approach my new manager without prejudice. I had once been in a similar position myself. When I moved to a new workplace, preconceived assumptions about me had made building relationships difficult, and I remembered that struggle well.
That experience led me to suppress my sense of unease towards her, reasoning that she, too, was still adjusting to an unfamiliar environment.
A Growing Sense of Exclusion — Colleagues Torn Between Engagement and Self-Protection
After the new management structure was put in place, I began to feel a sense of exclusion — slowly at first, but unmistakably. I could not think of anything I had done wrong, and all that remained was an uneasy feeling whose cause I could not identify.
At one point, I noticed that I had been left out of the CC list on an internal email. A colleague forwarded it to me afterwards. The same thing happened several times.
I also began to sense that some colleagues were deliberately keeping their distance from me. For example, when I spoke up in meetings, responses increasingly remained superficial. Casual conversations at work became noticeably less frequent.
Perhaps, in trying to read the mood of the new organisation, my colleagues themselves were wavering between their genuine engagement with the work and a need to protect their own positions. Such dynamics may be common in corporate settings, but for me, the sense of unease gradually continued to grow.
Excluded from My Responsibilities — A Growing Sense of Isolation
My unease gradually began to turn into reality. One day, I came across an article about our company in a well-known industry publication. Two things struck me.
First, although external communications were part of my remit, I had not been informed of the publication at all.
Second, the quality of the content did not meet our established internal standards. While the wording was grammatically correct, it felt misaligned with the context of our industry. The creative elements, too, failed to adhere to the company’s strict brand guidelines.
Similar incidents followed in quick succession. I later learned that Mari had been working directly with a marketing agency she had known for some time.
On another occasion, the outline of the following year’s business plan was presented at an all-hands meeting. Marketing initiatives were, of course, included — yet I had not been involved in the planning process at all.
“Please include me in the key discussions,” I asked Mari directly.
I wanted to share the challenges facing our marketing activities, as well as the knowledge and experience that had been built up over time. Given her position, I believed she would understand my intention.
But nothing changed. On the contrary, I was gradually excluded from regular meetings with related departments and partner companies, and information-sharing with colleagues began to suffer as well.
Shame and Humiliation — The Cold Reality of Organisational Structures
I repeatedly asked Mari to include me in discussions. Each time, however, she responded in the same flat, impersonal way:
“The necessary information has already been shared.”
It felt less like an answer than a stock phrase — detached, almost mechanical.
There were many matters I genuinely wanted to discuss. Yet when faced with her continued refusal to engage, my thoughts dissolved into confusion and agitation. I found myself unable to identify a starting point for the conversation, and gradually an atmosphere began to take shape in which it appeared as though I was the one unable to organise or articulate the issues properly.
One day, a colleague approached me.
“Are you all right, Naoki? Everyone’s worried about you.”
I understood that she spoke out of kindness. Even so, a feeling akin to shame and humiliation welled up inside me. I realised that my isolation had become widely visible within the company.
At the same time, I became acutely aware of the cold reality of organisational structures: no individual, however well-intentioned, was able to change the situation I found myself in.
From that point on, I struggled not only to communicate with my manager, but also began to sense an invisible barrier forming between myself and my colleagues.
